Mark time!
Forward!
Squad, halt!
Handcuffs.
Left turn!
Corporal.
Come on, let's have you! Get fell in!
It's roll call! Let's have you!
Sergeant! Check the other huts. Quick march! Double!
Come on! Move! Move! Move!
Come on! Fall out for roll call, or it's blood for breakfast!
Captain Schlϋter's compliments to Major Perry.
He will speak only to the major.
Left, left, left, right, left.
Right wheel!
Left, left.
Left wheel!
- Er... PA. - Squad, right turn!
Squad, halt!
- -
Captain Schlϋter, your men will now fall in for roll call,
and 25 of them will be handcuffed as previously ordered.
Your country started this in violating the Geneva Convention.
25 British officers were shackled in Ludwigsdorf prison in Germany.
After roll call, we must handcuff 25 of your officers, Captain Schlüter.
How do you plan to do that, Major? There are 600 of us, and we don't agree.
You leave me no alternative but to resort to force.
Bloody man! I mean, can't he see?
<♪ "Erika">
♪ Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein
♪ Und das heißt: Erika
♪ Heiß von hunderttausend kleinen Bienelein
♪ Wird umschwärmt Erika
♪ Denn ihr Herz ist voller Süßigkeit
♪ Zarter Duft entströmt dem Blütenkleid
♪ Auf der Heide blüht ein kleines Blümelein
♪ Und das heißt: Erika
♪ In der Heimat wohnt ein kleines Mägdelein
There's nothing for it.
- Bring them up. - Yes, sir.
Mr Cox! Bring those men up here!
♪ Und mein Glück, Erika
♪ Wenn das Heidekraut rot-lila blüht
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right,
left... left... left... left, right, left.
Squad, mark time!
Squad, halt!
- Sir! - Mr Cox, enter barracks number one
and place Captain Schlϋter under arrest.
Sir!
Gate!
Company, double march! Left, right, left, right, left, right...
♪ Und das heißt: Erika
40 metres.
30 metres.
20 metres.
- Come on. Let's go. - I want no part of this, understand?
All guard towers.
This is Major Perry.
There is to be no shooting, unless a prisoner crosses the tripwire.
Is that understood?
Give me more rocks! More rocks.
Cease firing.
Come out, you Kraut swine!
Why don't you come in here?
You bastards!
Gas grenades in!
Tear gas. They're past the wire.
Come on! Double it up!
Right, I want 12 men! Six with me, and six round the back!
Sir! Those men, pronto! Cover the other side!
Drop back and form a line!
Right, fix bayonets!
Right, all guard towers.
There is to be no shooting unless they cross the tripwire.
Sergeant! Sten guns in! Come on, move it up!
Hurry it up! Get in there! You come down that side.
Is the Luftwaffe above all this? Come on! Get going!
Go to hell.
What a bunch of idiots.
Push out!
Don't you like, Tommy?
Get the Tommies out.
Right, close the gates!
Stop! Enough! Attention!
Form a lane.
Send your handcuffs back to London, Major Perry.
Captain Schlϋter, I am entitled by the Geneva Convention
to punish you and your men for this incredible behaviour.
You will be confined to your huts on restricted diet for 48 hours.
All privileges and electric power will be curtailed for that period.
And at the end of that period, you will fall in for roll call in proper order.
As indeed you are now.
Send your handcuffs back to London, and stay out of our camp until you do.
Did you have relations with an enlisted personnel?
I did, sir.
She was willing.
Did you strike an officer of His Majesty's Navy?
Not at all. I said... something or other,
and he gave me a sort of... push. It wasn't anything.
The police report called it "aggravated assault".
Did it?
Your past record indicates that you were drunk with four enlisted men,
and absent without leave... six times.
Even though you are awaiting orders for your next posting,
that is not a licence to ignore military regulations and disgrace the uniform.
Yes, sir.
It is within the authority of this review board
to reduce you in rank to the lowest commissioned rating.
However, we have been requested to hold our decision in abeyance
by His Majesty's Intelligence.
- General Kerr wishes to question you. - Ben Kerr?
So it's a balls-up again, eh, Jack?
The army must be in a bad way for generals, making you one.
- You've got that bit right, at least. - What does an editor do in the army?
Write stories about Hitler's sex life and send them to the newspapers?
We put corrupt and ill-assorted talents like yours to work winning the war.
- I requested your transfer to Intelligence. - Why the hell did you do that?
You're to run a POW camp in Scotland.
- Oh, God, Ben! I'm not a policeman. - Damned good crime reporter, though.
You've been a chaotic bastard as long as I've known you,
but you have a perverse genius for setting things in order...
when you've a mind to.
I've a mind to go on a holiday at the moment.
That review board will see that you get it.
Jack, I'm saving your Royal Irish ass for you,
and giving you the chance to do the sort of job you've always been keen on doing.
- Prisoners of war. I puke, sir. - Now, get stuffed, Jack.
I need you. I need your great nose to the ground.
The German prisoners, all top-line officers,
have been raising a peculiar sort of hell at McKenzie the past few months.
Other camps: Relative quiet. McKenzie: A veritable state of siege.
Both War Office and Intelligence want to find out if there's any connection,
any link with the dear old Deutschland.
You have full authorisation to do what you must to bring the camp round
and to find out what we need to know.
A Major Perry's in command there.
A captain tells a major how to run his camp.
I thought that would amuse you. He'll be instructed to cooperate with Intelligence.
What about that review board? Any ideas how to keep them off my back?
I shall... ponder the matter, old boy.
"Can you give me something for diarrhoea, headache or constipation?"
- Yes. Here he comes, Major Perry! -
English! English!
"Why are those boys fighting? Why does that schoolmaster not stop them?"
Here he comes, Major Perry!
Idiot! What is this shit?
Quiet! Quiet! There's more to come.
The next one who whistles will be fined ten marks.
Eins, zwei, drei, vier!
♪ All the English have fat arses
♪ Major Perry, Sergeant Cox
♪ We would like to give them handcuffs
♪ Put them in a six-feet box
♪ When the war is gone and finished
♪ And we win the victory
♪ Deutschland then will be much bigger
♪ England then belongs to you and me
♪ When the war is gone and finished
♪ And we win the victory
♪ Deutschland then will be much bigger
♪ England then belongs to you and me
♪ We can stay in Camp McKenzie
♪ For England then belongs to you and me
Three cheers for Commandant Schlϋter. Hip, hip, hurrah!
- Hip, hip... - Hurrah!
It's a bloody English music hall!
It's more fun in here without the English Tommies, eh?
You... and you... and you.
All of you, thanks for this morning.
- You make a lousy English lady, Schmidt! - Ja. She's too Jewish-looking!
I'll smack you.
Neuchl, you shall take the part.
- You'd make a hell of an English lady. -
Why not bring your "friend" Berger up here to the stage
and do the little sketch for us like two English ladies?
Won't you?
Your position, Kapitän, is not so to give me such insult.
My position as your commanding officer is so to have you killed
for being a coward, if I must. Are you not a coward?
I obey the rule of a prisoner of war.
As the German camp commandant,
you know the Geneva Convention forbids you to incite a riot.
You are a homosexual, are you not?
Nein.
Sorry, your English is poor.
You're a queer, aren't you?
Why don't you ask Berger, here, to the stage?
You can hug and kiss and have a lovely queer wedding.
Sweet little sister, sweet little sister, get out, get out.
I'll see you later.
To hell with orders. Let's make a victory fire.
Quite right, Mr Cox. Fireworks Night.
- They're flaunting the blackout regulation. - Celebrating my 48-hour punishment.
- We'll see to that, sir. - You'll see to what?
You'll see to it that we're all made fools of once again.
You move men in there to enforce blackout regulations,
Jerry will have disappeared by the time you get there, laughing from the shadows.
Your men will get a few more broken heads.
Bleeding Krauts are lighting up the sky, asking for a raid.
There's never been a raid within 100 miles of this desolate chicken farm. Only alerts.
Why bomb this understaffed, ill-manned outpost of... military mediocrities?
Thank you, Mr Cox. That will be all.
Oh, erm... make transport arrangements for a Captain Connor, coming tomorrow.
- The details are in the orderly room. - Yes, sir.
Shall we finish the game, Mr Hall?
As you like, sir.
I'm sorry. I...
I went a bit too far.
I'm damned if I know what Whitehall expects.
"Don't move too aggressively, thousands of our chaps in German POW camps."
And I quite agree. "But can't you maintain order there, Major Perry?"
I ask for reinforcements, they send me a captain from Military Intelligence.
"Let him have a look at the matter." I mean, oh dear, oh dear.
With uniforms you look more British than the guard.
No one will stop you once you are out of the gate.
- Behold... - Behold...
Broadtail.
It's our Scottish contact.
He'll wait for Hochbauer and Schmidt on the Glencoe road.
Good.
B for Berlin.
- And breakout. - What did Berlin say?
English. It wasn't Berlin. It was our friend here in Scotland.
And he agrees to an earlier meeting with you.
Let's raise hell when Perry puts on the cuffs.
You can march straight off and join the British Army.
We used to have picnics here when I first came. It was grand.
They were so lonely, the German lads, and they were so nice.
Then they made the rule, I guess. Closed the camp tight.
- When was that? - About a year ago,
when the headmaster came - the major. Major Perry, that is.
When Major Perry came, sir.
Hey!
You're a bunch of weaklings.
- Not bad for starters, right? - Very good, very good.
Now it's the Luftwaffe's turn.
- Morgen, Hauptmann Kranz. - Guten Morgen.
Kapitän, thank you for the list you sent me this morning.
But there are others of us who speak excellent English.
Your English is excellent, Kranz.
The tunnel was begun before you came here.
Your list, the 28 men who are to escape, are all U-boat men.
None of my men. None of Unger's engineers.
I took the tunnel over on orders from Hitler and Admiral Dönitz
in order to get skilled U-boat men back into the war.
- Germany needs them now. - My men want some explanation.
You're a Luftwaffe commandant. Do you explain orders?
I want an explanation about the way you treated Neuchl.
That flying fairy, Hauptmann, he's a bad German.
Yes, I spent a very decent holiday or two in Ireland.
What made you decide to suspend outside privileges for Germans?
I felt that my predecessor had taken too many liberties with regulations.
In fact, Von Westhofen agreed with me -
the German senior officer in the camp until his death last April.
Nice old boy, General Von Westhofen. A great feeling for books.
The complete opposite of the young devil now in command, Schlϋter.
- What did the nice old boy die of? - Heart attack.
Morning. Captain Connor's been sent up from London.
He's to assist me in analysing the problems here.
When are you going to lift your 48-hour siege, sir?
Tomorrow morning at reveille.
- Let's have a look inside, then. - I think not, Captain.
It would weaken the effect of the punishment.
I should have a look around.
Captain, 12 men were seriously injured in there yesterday.
- If you go in, it's your responsibility. - Yes, sir.
- Does that phone go to all the towers? - Yes, sir.
Excuse me.
This is Captain Connor speaking. I'm coming inside now.
Will you come along, Mr Cox?
Reinforcements. One more man.
Let's give him company.
What do you suppose Von Westhofen died of, Mr Cox?
I expect it was as Major Perry said, sir.
I'd like your opinion on that.
Well, he always seemed in the best of health to me, sir.
You think Schlϋter got rid of him?
The bastard has control now, that's all I know.
- Have you had any escapes? - A few.
Most of them get picked up in the local whorehouse.
A couple did make it across to the Irish Free State.
The hell you say. Horrible place to wind up.
There's only one way to handle prisoners, sir.
That's lock 'em up some place so tight that all they can do is eat, sleep and shit.
But the Geneva Convention wouldn't abide it.
- Don't you have workshops? - They can make almost anything.
Made uniforms as good as new for their top officers. They've got the lot.
Tinkers, tailors... candlestick makers, I shouldn't wonder.
- Did they make any guns yet? - We search, we try to surprise them.
We find nothing.
Turns out we always get the surprises.
- Is that Schlϋter? - Aye, number-one barracks.
To be sure.
Quiet Willi. His men aren't so quiet, though.
He's seen to that. He's got more authority here than he ever had on a U-boat.
I heard about his playing at war games yesterday.
- Exciting, was it? - You're dead right, sir.
That's the mess hall up there. Round the corner's the cooler.
The major hasn't made enough use of it yet, sir.
- Are you irritated by this lot? - I could do without them, sir.
Quick march, then.
That's lovely topsoil, Willi.
Satisfied with your turnip inspection, Captain?
Just grand. You're not putting the dirt from your tunnel there, are you?
Tunnel? You are old-fashioned, Captain.
That's right.
Yes, there must be a better way than that.
Attention, please. This is Major Perry.
I am assigning Captain Connor officer in charge of the roll call tomorrow morning.
He will supervise the selection and handcuffing
of 25 German officers immediately after roll call.
Thank you.
There must be a better way.
We keep this entrance clear since it is the main escape hatch.
If you follow me to number three, you can inspect the attic there.
Captain? Careful climbing through the toilet.
There is no light until the attic.
I have calculated the load on the ceiling.
We have 17,000 cubic centimetres of dirt.
I've installed cable supports.
Crude but effective.
It's difficult with the advanced schedule.
We don't have the incentive of being among those to escape.
Solving the problem is incentive enough for me.
I am an engineer.
Be a fast engineer, Unger.
We are five metres from the fence, and 26 metres from the stream.
We will have to use the roof space in barracks two.
Barracks three will soon be filled.
- Ah, good evening, Mr Cox. - Good evening, sir.
- You ordered reveille at 0600 hours, sir. - That's right.
And C Company to fall out with 25 handcuffs, sir.
Right.
And call the fire brigade, would you? Fire brigade.
Sir.
Divide them between the front two ranks.
Two to each rank.
Half left, wheel.
Right wheel.
This is Captain Connor speaking to all prisoners.
There will be an immediate roll call.
Repeat, there will be an immediate roll call. 25 men will be handcuffed.
Enter the barracks as previously instructed.
Move!
Nobody here, sir. Dead empty.
- Mother Hubbard. - Same here, sir.
Proceed with caution.
Six men to hut two. On the double.
Move in quickly.
Get back!
Take it easy. You don't have to kill me.
It's a good cause.
Hey! You two men!
Get back!
Good. Now get in there and mix with the British.
Jerry's taken the bait.
Left, right, left, right...
Watch out! The swine have called the fire brigade.
Hurry.
Mr Cox. Turn it on.
It's time for the Luftwaffe. Get Neuchl.
Four men with me.
Force them back.
Let's get to the engine.
Take the water cannon. Help me with the hose.
Come on. Keep going.
Get that man.
Behind the barracks! Behind the barracks! Retreat.
Stop!
Stop! Enough!
Handcuff the bastards.
Mr Cox. That'll do.
Halt!
You seem to have won an argument over handcuffs, Captain.
And you got all wet, Willi.
Have your men out in one hour for roll call.
I insist on visiting your infirmary immediately
to see to the condition of my men.
Right after the roll call, Willi.
Stop your stupid pranks, you silly dog.
Shut up.
- And speak English! - OK, OK.
I'm glad to be out too. But we have to find our chum in Caithness.
28 submariners...
- What the hell's he saying? - I think he's unconscious, sir.
28 submariners... Swine...
When he comes round, I want to talk to him.
- Go and do whatever you have to. - I'll do my best, sir.
That man is in a bad way. Our chaps didn't have to go that far.
It wasn't them that did it to him. It was his own lot.
Damn near killed him, as well.
- Working off a private grudge, perhaps. - Sir. This just came.
Keep a close guard on him, Sergeant. I don't want anyone near him.
- Captain Connor. - Sir.
- They took the handcuffs off our men. - Yes, I knew about that.
- You knew? - I knew before I left London.
Then those men must be unshackled at once.
Not just yet, sir.
I'm instructed to cooperate with you, not relinquish my command.
Not at all, sir.
But you must comply with what the Intelligence mission requires,
and I didn't come here just to put down a riot.
Are you formally requesting me to contravene the Geneva Convention?
For a few hours is all.
Very well, Captain Connor.
I'm sure today's episode can only redound to your credit.
Sir.
I want a complete list of the numbers and injuries to our men.
- Eighteen, present and correct, sir. - Carry on, Sergeant.
Sir, checked parade four. All present and accounted for.
Parade, dismiss.
I have permission to check on my men.
Go inside, please. These look like knife cuts.
- I don't speak English. - He's lost a lot of blood. Put him to bed.
Where's Neuchl?
In that little room.
Does the music bother you, sir?
- No, not at all. - It's therapy, of course, sir.
These Germans are very fond of this kind of thing.
I've always collected classical music, because...
- Have you any of that medical brandy? - Yes, sir.
Will you have a drink, Captain?
Do I understand you refuse me the right to see one of my men?
- Just the one brandy, Corporal, please. - Yes, sir.
Well, he doesn't seem to be too anxious to see you.
He got away from those brutes of yours, didn't he? They nearly killed him.
He's under the care of the chief surgeon.
You Irish are just fabulous. You really have got that famous Irish imagination.
But your water sports this morning made such a confusion,
who knows what you saw?
I know what I saw. I saw a man trying to escape.
I'm not contradicting really, Captain. You may have seen an attempted escape.
Is it not the duty of all prisoners to try?
- Sir. - Thank you, Corporal.
Toscanini?
Furtwängler does it better.
Hm.
The German camps have taken the shackles off the British prisoners,
and we shall reciprocate very soon.
Course, your lads did quite a bit of damage.
We'll have to deduct that from their pay.
And that will be all for now, Captain. You'll want to see to your men.
Captain, deduct the damages from my pay. Thank you.
You've done too much as it is.
Keep your eye on that one. See that he leaves soon.
And don't let anyone else in without my authorisation.
There they are.
You can take these books to the prisoners. I've inspected them.
- These all the Kriegsmariners? - Yes, I separated them.
I don't read German all that well. I don't even know what the hell I'm looking for.
- What's that? Ewig... - Ewigkeit.
"My dear wife, it has seemed like an eternity since last I kissed your bosom
and slept with my arms entwined around your body."
- Do you read horny letters all day? - That's the function of the post office.
- It is? - Mm.
"The turnip fields are growing, dear,
and we are going to do several plays by Shakespeare."
"I wish I had you with me now to put my arms around and feel your bosom."
Bosom, bosom, bosom.
Why do they put that Roman numeral in the date?
- What date? - It's a Roman numeral, or part of it.
- Did you ever notice that? - I've never noticed that before.
He's got that queer-looking German seven, and the one and the two,
but it starts off with a Roman numeral.
We're going to get us a code man down here from London
and have him take a look at these horny letters.
- I wanna tell you something. - I told you before, don't touch me.
Get back to bed! Do you hear me? Get back to bed!
Look out! They've got a hostage. Get back to your beds immediately.
Have I kept you waiting, Willi?
It's your prison, Captain. We follow your orders.
You have imposed your kind of order, haven't you?
- Did you know him well? - No.
- What's his name? You know that. - Rupert Neuchl.
You have it on your hospital report.
He must have regained consciousness during the day. He hanged himself.
Do you want to write that to his family, or shall I do it?
Won't be necessary.
- Why'd he hang himself? - He was weak. He was a homosexual.
- Why do you ask me? - We asked everyone else in the ward.
They saw nothing, of course. You're the commanding officer. Why'd he die?
Captain, he died under your custody.
I smell... cognac, I think.
You smell Irish whiskey, I think. There you are.
Thank you.
Prost.
Achtundzwanzig Kriegsmariners.
It's a pity the corpse never enjoys the wake.
He was a hell of a nice fella to talk to, though.
Here's to you, Rupert.
Your German... You're pronouncing it very good today.
You're pronouncing your English very good, too.
Where'd you learn English, Willi?
In Bremen. Unterseeboot Akademie, ten years ago.
- How old are you? - 27.
You must have had a couple of years in the Hitler Youth camp, with a bit of luck.
A lot of luck. Two years.
And you?
- Me what? - I mean, how old?
I'm 44.
- Still very much alive. - I'm quite well, thank you.
I mean, your new command is very much impressed.
One of those nice elderly British guards told me you were a hell of a journalist.
Oh, that's true. A hell of a journalist. I could make you famous, Willi.
Why don't you tell the lively old crime reporter why the man's dead?
Do you expect me to tell you that I killed him and why?
No, you don't have to. I can see your pleasure in the kill.
Can you?
Mm-hm.
Perhaps you can see somebody who believes in the war,
who believes in his people, his leaders.
We kill in a war for those things, huh?
But maybe you don't. I mean, you're Irish, and you're a captain in the British Army.
The same British Army that has killed your own Irish people for centuries.
What do you really believe in? What kind of order? What laws do you obey?
Well, I obey as few laws as I have to,
and I'm not much of a one for order.